turboskeptics and cookies in the morning

What am I learning in Philosophy, you ask? Well, don't be alarmed if I tell you that you know almost nothing of what you think you know. No, I'm not a skeptic; the things you believe are true, and you should still believe them. But we have to introduce tighter limits on what we call knowledge, and these happen to exclude most of what you consider knowledge. 1, it is true; 2, you believe it; 3, if it weren't true, you wouldn't believe it; 4, if it were true, you would believe it. These criteria comprise what we call Nozick's theory of

SO WHAT.

Hey, pardon?

You heard me, I said SO WHAT.

People reading this don't care.
If they did, they would be in the class.

So I'm switching the subject.

These mornings we often stop at Tim Horton's or McDonald's as we drive to school. Frankly I prefer Tim Horton's, because I really like their chewy cookies in the morning. Coffee? Not as good as a cookie! Donuts? Are you kidding me! Hot chocolate--surely you don't want to say a triple chocolate cookie at 7:30 a.m. is better than a cup of hot chocolate?

Sorry, babe. That's the straight shakes. It is. 


Discovering breakfast. That's good. Cuz you can't get by with some liquid in your stomach for the first half of the day. Heck, there's already plenty of liquid, stomach acid, which your stomach doesn't even wanna digest. So there. Eat your breakfast.

And make it delicious if you can.
But not too fattening.

And when I'm eating my cookie with the bag over it so the crumbs don't fall on the desk or my lap, and I explain to my Philosophy classmate that the skeptic doesn't want to attack reality, only that you think you know what reality is--you can have your cookie so long as you're not sure you're dreaming it--

and she sighs and replies, "That's stupid. Skeptics should totally go for the bigger catch of fish. There needs to be something like a, like a, TURBOSKEPTIC."


then I'll just grin widely as I munch on my cookie